Super Bitchy Monday: Your Car’s Fat, Ugly and Old, and It Looks Just Like You.

I’m not necessarily in the worst of moods today, actually, but there are a few things that riled me today: mostly when one of my favourite bloggers wrote a bitchy letter to an old friend, it kind of awakened this Last Frakking Nerve feeling I’ve been wanting to fry.

Dear American Public,

Yes, it is your fault that we’re in this hot fucking mess.

Yes, there I said it. It’s the American public’s fault.

GM’s going to bust, and you’re going to bitch about it, but guess what? It’s your fucking fault they failed. Wanna know why?

You had this stupid ass fucking insatiable need for monster cars that performed harder, went faster, made more noise and were bigger than everyone else’s on the block. No, I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about your greed and lust for monster machines that out-performed the modest and tiny vehicles across the pond. So, because of your thirst for power, GM and Chrysler and Ford invested in machining technology that created bigger cars and used more precious fuel. And now that you’re clamouring about GM not deserving any bail out money because they failed to understand the need for more consevative fuel consumption, you’re full of crap and you should shove it up your H2′s tail pipe with the 9MPG and 9Point IQ you’ve got. It’s YOUR FUCKING FAULT.

You bought their shitty cars, so they continued to make them. Until you decided to go trendy and smaller… Couldn’t you have been a bandwagoner sooner? Shit.

AND, you elected Reagan, who effectively pressed the delete key on all of Jimmy Carter’s aggressive fuel conservation and green initiatives literally as soon as his ass hit the leather chair in the oval office. So… uh, yeah. Your fault.

AIG? Well, let’s see, I’m not an economist, but if you elect a bunch of beaurocrats who like to re-write oversight policies so that financial institutions like AIG and Bank Of America and Countrywide could invest and deal with risky business ventures, then yeah, I can say again, the financial pickle the US is in, is mostly a lot of the public’s fault.

Well, maybe I’m reaching on that one.

Probably.

But about this here housing credit crunch…. this is some people’s fault. Not just from predatory lenders on innocent people who just wanted to buy a house. Not all borrowers were innocent.

Some people who were fresh outta college and making $34k a year decided that they could get a $400K loan on a house and some how they’d be alright.

Some people decided to draw out all the equity on their house and use it to buy other houses, digging themselves into an exponentially higher amount of debt all under the name of “investment.” Well, digging yourself in debt by using–in effect–a credit cash advance from your home isn’t an investment. If you use equity, it might have been a credit and an asset at one point, but using it to catapult yourself into higher debt that you shouldn’t be able to buy isn’t an investment–it’s just debt buying debt.

And you think that the credit industry is in a crisis because of fraudulent lending practices and ponzi schemes? Partly, yes, but partly, no… it’s your fault. It’s your fault you thougth you could get away with buying something you could never in your entire life pay off, just because you believed what a bull-shit mortgage banker told you, and you didn’t read the fine print, or because you thought that somehow you were smarter than the system. Let me tell you, you’re weren’t, and you’re still not. Don’t whine to Mr. Obama to bail you out when you decided against better judgement to buy a house that was way beyond your pay grade!

If you buy a house worth $600 grand, and your combined household income is only $80K, and you have 2 dogs, 2 kids and 3 vehicles, you are living out of your means. If your house is worth $600 grand, and your combined household income is only $60Km, and you have 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 SUVs, satellite TV with 200 channels, and you eat every meal out at McDonald’s and shop at Wal-Mart, you are living out of your means, and you have no sense of employee ethics, health or protecting the environment, in which case we should never meet and never be friends.

It’s your fault! Some people who are so pro buying American forget that buying American and being Pro-America, means that we need to demand better service, better machinery, better technology, better fuel economy, and better all around products from American companies. Buying American doesn’t mean bigger, better, faster, stronger. It means saving, conserving, preserving and diversifying. Being Pro-America doesn’t mean we subscribe to the status quo, but demaning better ideas, thought OUTSIDE the box, better initiatives that quell consumption, and infusing those initiatives into avenues that create jobs, and cut down on excess! Being Pro-America means we have to get MEAN and demand from our elected officials what the beaurocrats are too fat and stupid to get done.

I’m Pro-America, and I’m fucking angry. Why do people think that just because I’m angry, I’m anti-American? I want America to go back to the way it should be–that is, the way it never was before this economic crisis!

Fuck you.

Oh yeah, and if you think tailing me and revving your engine behind me on 13 mile road in that ugly fucking box of a BMW fuel consuming, UNGREEN SUV is going to get you to your destination faster…You got another think coming. By the way, I looked in my rear-view mirror, and I saw a behemoth that looked like it’d gotten caught in the power lines outside the power station near my house: frizzy, fried, and fucking fat. Your car looks like Gary Busey, bloated, boxy, stupid and oh yeah, it looks like like you.

I heard the Dollar is on it’s way back up, so shut the hell up and go buy something not made in China, and carry it home in a reusable shopping bag.

Oh yeah, and the next time you’re driving with a phone to your ear? Hang up and fucking drive. You’ll be a better driver for it.

Love,
Mae

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PC. Treehugger, and Jutiagroup.com
News Source: NYTimes.com